Leadership – vis coaching

I want to feel some semblance of order

Coaching prompts: Real accounts from coaching sessions

Coachee: I’m exhausted. I have more work than I can possibly do in a day because we’re supposed to be doing more with less at work. I have 2 kids I’m trying to keep entertained in confinement. I’m worried about my 70+ year-old parents who enjoy sheltering in place less than my kids. Days are blurring together. And my work-life balance or integration or whatever you call it is a distant dream. I’m spent. [Seven-year-old sticks his head into the camera frame and stares blankly.]

Coach: What do you really want?

Coachee: I want to feel some semblance of order.

Additional Questions:

Apart from exhausted and spent, how else are you feeling? Which “emotion” words would you use? Which sensations do you feel in your body?
What would that “semblance of order” look like for you?
What are you learning about yourself during this time?

David’s Final Thought: I am reminded of the Serenity prayer which tells us to accept the things you cannot change and to have courage to change the things you can. For those who might think this is easier said than done, take a moment to consider a list of 5 things that you can change, no matter how small. And from that list, choose at least 1 thing that you will change.

I want my team members to be productive

Coaching prompts: Real accounts from coaching sessions

Coachee: We were recently told that it’s mandatory for everyone to work from home for the foreseeable future. I just became the manager of a team of people who usually come into the office. There are a few remote employees, but most are on the ground with me. I have no idea how to make sure that everyone is doing their job. What do I do?

Coach: What do you really want?

Coachee: I want to be sure that the team members are as productive and effective as possible.

Additional Questions:

How have you ensured that remote team members remain productive and effective in the past?
What techniques have you used to stay productive while working from home?
What concerns you most about your team working remotely? What are some ways to mitigate those concerns?

David’s Final Thought: Trust your team to deliver. If an employee doesn’t seem to be as productive or effective, be curious and ask honest, open questions to determine the underlying reasons.

I want to ruminate less

Coaching prompts: Real accounts from coaching sessions

Coachee: I’ve recently had a health problem recur that I thought was cured. The issue is keeping me from working out. When I don’t stay active, I get in my head. I’m realizing that when things take a turn that I don’t expect, I try to wait until they go back to normal. When they don’t immediately go back to normal, I get frustrated and impatient. Then I start to ruminate, which makes me feel worse. I don’t know what to do.

Coach: What do you really want?

Coachee: I want to ruminate less.

Additional Questions:

What are your expectations for going back to normal?
What would you prefer to do rather than ruminate?
What do you lose when things aren’t normal? What do you gain?

David’s Final Thought: Change is often disruptive and uncomfortable. That said, try to pause and consider what you have to learn from the change. Logistically, I recommend writing it down or talking to someone about it so you don’t keep those thoughts solely in your head.

I want to help my team be successful

Coaching prompts: Real accounts from coaching sessions

Coachee: I’ve just become a manager of managers after hiring a manager to work for me. I feel like I’m winging it. I’m just managing the same way I did when I was a frontline manager, i.e. with openness and transparency, but I don’t know if that’s right or wrong. I could use some advice.

Coach: What do you really want?

Coachee: To help the team, and the new manager specifically, be successful.

Additional Questions:

What did you most appreciate about your boss’ approach when you first became a frontline manager? What did you not appreciate about your boss’ approach?
How do you want your team to behave?
Imagine that it is 1 year from now and the team has self-destructed (however you wish to define that). What are some reasons it has? Where do you want to focus your attention based on those reasons?

David’s Final Thought: As a team grows, be deliberate about who communicates what and when to whom.