I want to feel some semblance of order

Coaching prompts: Real accounts from coaching sessions

Illustration by Kiry Luc

Coachee: I’m exhausted. I have more work than I can possibly do in a day because we’re supposed to be doing more with less at work. I have 2 kids I’m trying to keep entertained in confinement. I’m worried about my 70+ year-old parents who enjoy sheltering in place less than my kids. Days are blurring together. And my work-life balance or integration or whatever you call it is a distant dream. I’m spent. [Seven-year-old sticks his head into the camera frame and stares blankly.]

Coach: What do you really want?

Coachee: I want to feel some semblance of order.

Additional Questions:

  • Apart from exhausted and spent, how else are you feeling? Which “emotion” words would you use? Which sensations do you feel in your body?
  • What would that “semblance of order” look like for you?
  • What are you learning about yourself during this time?

David’s Final Thought: I am reminded of the Serenity prayer which tells us to accept the things you cannot change and to have courage to change the things you can. For those who might think this is easier said than done, take a moment to consider a list of 5 things that you can change, no matter how small. And from that list, choose at least 1 thing that you will change.

2 thoughts on “I want to feel some semblance of order

  1. I appreciate this account because it seems pervasive at this moment in time. I love the Serenity Prayer and employ it often. For me, the challenge here is the acceptance piece–the ‘how-to’ of actually accepting something(s), not just faking it (although faking it can sometimes be a solid start). When I skip (or skim) that step, there’s much more friction when I attempt to move forward and identify and/or implement possible changes.

  2. So true, so many people waist time on things they can control which creates even more stress and prevents them from making the change required to move to a better state. Thanks for sharing David.

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